Sunday, 6 January 2013

Getting a few things sorted

As the new year entered in I took myself back to home. It was a rare sunny day and I enjoyed seeing my home town starting 2013 at peace, gently going about its business. I was headed for a physiotherapy session in an indoor pool, the sort with high sides and made of resin I suppose.

My shoulders are still troubling me, especially the right one and it's difficult to sleep so any help with that is appreciated. The warm water was relaxing, the instructor was a friendly and charming young lady who seemed to find me, a New Zealander, rather exotic. There are not that many Kiwis in France and I may be the only one within 50kms. I coped as best I could with the conversation and concentrated on moving a thin stick in the correct trajectories to re-educate my muscles and ligaments while the anti-inflammatories keep the pain lessened. Inflamation and arthritis have been identified by Xray and ultra-sound. No surprises, at least it's nothing worse. I was informed that the exercises in the pool would quickly become quite challenging. I was given a sneak preview- she was right. Clearly I have work to do.

I also have lots to do in terms of progressing my writing. Some of my Christmas holiday break has been spent motivating myself and moving ahead a step at a time. Work continues on my book proposal and I have purchased two domain names,  as a window on my professional abilities to encourage networking and opportunities. I've ordered some business cards for my book promotion and need to build a website. The latter is challenging for me.

I'm not IT savvy and although companies may say their web-building tools can be used by anyone they don't seem to have been thinking of me when they declared it. I'm looking around for a webhosting company that will make it easy for me to get a site up and running that I can edit myself. I feel like such a noddy with it all but I will have to make time to practice, explore and maybe just make a decision and hope it turns out for the best, as lately I've been dithering through lack of confidence. 2013 is the year I need to finish and publish my book, preferably the traditional way. I have ambitions. I think my book could make a good film but I still need to finish it.

I've been procrastinating about the last chapter. How will it end? My journey is still continuing. It won't be ending happily ever after. Following a long discussion with Jean-Claude about our relationship it's clear there's no particular positive outcome there on which to end the book. He's a lovely man but he has no intention of changing our arrangements - his arrangements- his environment rules all. He never wants to visit me at my home, he never speaks about emotional aspects. Everything is practical, concrete and revolves around how he wants things to be and he will not change anything or even compromise though he knows I'm not completely happy. He told me to find a way to finish my book without seeming too sad, so make it fictional. I totally rejected that idea. My book is a faithful and honest account of what I've faced and felt. Somehow I need to tell it like it is, respect my readers but not have it all finishing on a blue note even though, in reality, things are feeling a bit blue for me.


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