Sunday, 22 August 2010

What is freedom?

I'm experimenting with aspects of freedom right now. On Thursday I resigned from my job at Waitakere City. On Friday Stephen and I got officially divorced. On Saturday I threw out lots of stuff that had been important to me. Today I held a garage sale and Laura let go of things that used to be important to her.

Ironically, I went to the movies this afternoon and saw Toy Story 3 which is all about folks leaving home to start a new life and giving away their stuff that used to matter to them. Boy, did that strike a cord. I seem to be freeing myself from all sorts of attachments- some precious like my few friends and especially my lovely daughter Laura, material things such as my belongings, my job, my garden, home and country and language and culture.

I know this is the right thing to do. I cannot do what I will do (whatever that is) encumbered. I need to be flexible and available to follow what I must. My security must come from within me more than ever before. I've even let go of my need to for financial security. Changing my life to this extent has been extremely expensive; the trip to France earlier this year, the qualifications, my return, insurance and moving personal belongings with only my own resources.

I have no idea what will happen and that doesn't worry me, much. Stagnation is far more damaging to me than the challenge of change. Maybe that's why my life has been one of constant change even though I've yearned for the sort of stability and comfort other people seem to experience so easily. Well, that's not my story. It'll be the biggest thriller and mystery to discover what happens to me as the chapters unfold. Join me.


penteco said...

what date do you fly out?

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