The most important birthday of my life

Today I turn 65 years of age. It's a milestone in many ways, yet, here I am, alone in a 'bubble' at home. Well I didn't see that coming, none of us did. How to celebrate? By being silly, of course. Today I was a winged unicorn rather than an old-age pensioner. A year ago Jean-Claude had sent me a unicorn onesie (this sort of humour is quite out of character for him). I thought today might be the right day to don it, for a laugh. Sorry, the tail is not visible.

Hoolie on hold
I had organised an interactive party to celebrate this most important birthday of my life. Alas, Covid 19 has ruined all that for the moment. I am hoping all those who expressed an interest in paricipating will come once we are all clearer what we can do socially and what domestic travel we can make.

Still breathing
How is it that this is the most significant birthday in my lifetime? It has great meaning for me. Firstly, I am very happy and relieved I have actually made it this far, not everyone does. I've weathered quite a few vicissitudes over the birthdays of the past but am happy that my efforts to stay healthy and active have succeeded so far.

Respectable at last
It is also the date where benefit bashers can now take a flying 'blip' because I am graduating from being a bludger to a respectable citizen. Weird the difference a day makes. Financially this takes a wee bit of stress off me though the superannuation for a single person living alone here is not enough to pay all the bills. I had plans to do something about that once I hit the big 65 but Covid has wrecked those ideas too, for now.

Things have been mightily tough since I had to leave France. With the exception of two very short contracts, I have been unemployed for two and a half years, and not all that was on a benefit. I tried to eek out an existence without Jobseeker but it's impossible to do that beyond a handful of months. Having gained international experience seemed to turn people hiring, off me.  Experience, qualifications and great work ethics counted for nothing. No one thought I was worth hiring, no one would give me a chance. Now I don't have to care about that.

Ease up on the accelerator
There are quite a few experienced folks like me who could run rings around younger employees and their managers but we are deliberately passed over. Consequently I have been trying to wean myself off my 'driven' behaviours of the past when I gave my all to employers who, with two exceptions, never appreciated it.  It takes a while to learn how to slow down when you had not intended to 'retire'.

The sadder side
It's a shame my mother can't experience the day with me. She doesn't even know who I am. She doesn't know she has a daughter who made it to 65. She's a dementia patient locked down in a rest home in Christchurch and I can't know if she will survive this Covid thing. She's 90 so if she can get to that age maybe I can too (but without the dementia and strokes).

One of the most important significances of this day relates to my dream for a life in France. Many of you know I never wanted to come back to New Zealand. I had sacrificed everything to create a life in France under, again, very difficult circumstances. Though, financially it would have been a struggle in old age I could have sold my Auckland house and built a new home in France, independent from Jean-Claude, with a wee bit of money left over for retirement. I had looked at a plot of land just along the road from him but, as he reminded me, although I had earned the right to be in France permanently, I would not have any liveable retirement in those circumstances because NZ doesn't play fair.

NZ Superann rules
New Zealand forces expats like me to destroy all that is important in their lives in order to APPLY for superannuation. You are not allowed to apply from a foreign country. I have discovered many traps for the unwary in my superann application. One of those is the requirement to supply a copy of a utilities bill that is at least TWO years old - proving you are seriously living in NZ. Woah! Many folks wouldn't know about that. I hadn't, so I guess coming back here when I did was a smart decision, rather than leaving it any longer.

I have been paying tax all my life, since I was 15, even when I was in France, so I DO feel entitled to a retirement. Letting folks apply from overseas would be a more intelligent move since expats are not using any facilities like healthcare, roads etc. But no, this draconian and, to my mind, cruel requirement which is not present in many other systems overseas, forced me to lose all the money I had struggled for in France to move back here to the Ends of the Earth, cost me my relationship with JC, and cost me my dream. Am I pissed off? Of course, but I am doing the best I can to get on with things. I have no idea what is ahead.

Celebrating me
Today it's a recognition of how I have 'saved myself' yet again though it has been with pain. It's a recognition that I have had good luck to live this long, that I am connecting with new folks and reconnecting with previous contacts now I am back in NZ. It's a celebration of the fact that through forced circumstances I am probably being obliged to find a new way of living and adapt, once again.

I'm happy to be 65. I can quietly celebrate a life that has been anything but ordinary. I can put aside many of the past struggles and decide on a few things for myself each day. I have received lovely messages from my daughter Laura, as well as other kind well-wishers. I guess I still matter to some, after all these years and adventures. Thank you all for being part of my precious 65 years of life.

Now, where to from here?


Photos show my first birthday photo, one aged six, one aged 21 with Eriks at the Chateau Commodore as it was then, my 50th birthday party, turning 60 in France with JC, and today.

Controversial restoration at Chartres

Having lived near Chartres Cathedral for many years I've always had a soft spot for this grand old lady, weathering her way through 900 years. And weathering she certainly has. Until recently you could see the filth of centuries covering the cathedral of Chartres's former majesty but now that has all changed.

Some folks, like myself, are delighted to see glimpses of how she was orginally decorated. Others think it is a sacrilege to erase the consequences of such a long life - less authentic they say.

Personally, I don't see that restoring a masterpiece to how it was originally designed is wrong. Sure, she is positively gleaming; at least you can see the details.

Before the restoration everything was black and gloomy. You couldn't see the structural details and we had no idea there had been so much colour in her history. The colours were discovered once they had started to remove the grime. After all this time much of the colour was missing so in some areas of the cathedral they left some bits plain but recoloured other bits so we can see what a wonderful work of art it was. It was designed to be colourful, tell stories and to be uplifting as most of the congregation of the Middle Ages would have been illiterate.

The only positive of having black walls and roof was the fact that set off the stained glass windows a bit, especially the famed Rose windows, but in reality the glass was dirty too. Most of the stained glass is original and the finest collection in Europe. The before, during and after photos show the stark contrast.

Mostly constructed between 1194 and 1220, it stands at the site of at least five cathedrals that have occupied the site since Chartres became a bishopric in the 4th century. She has seen many devastating fires and other dangerous events in her long life.

During the French Revolution, revolutionaries started attacking the sculptures to demolish the cathedral but were stopped by the local architect who pleaded the building's value.

In 1836, due to the negligence of workmen, a fire began which destroyed the lead-covered wooden roof and the two belfries, but the building structure and the stained glass were untouched. Sounds spookily like the current situation of Notre Dame de Paris. In Chartres' case, the new roof is now covered in copper over an iron frame.

In 1944 the allies were on the verge of bombing the cathedral to the ground, believing the Germans had artillery there. A colonel went inside to check and discovered the rumour was false, just in time to avoid the destruction of this ireplaceable building. It is now a UNESCO World Heritage site.

A few years ago, we went up on a tour of the roof. The narrow stone steps were a bit of a challenge but we got to see the bells and look over the roof profiles, flying buttresses, and then out over the city and countryside. It was well worth doing.

The two towers are from the the 12th and 16th centuries respectively. Some exterior cleaning was completed a few years ago. With city pollution it is already not as clean as it was 7 years ago and there is still more to be done near the portals.

The portals are 12th century and look splendid during the scenography displays in Summer. I've spent several evenings over the years watching the beautiful designs changing across the face of the cathedral, her portals and towers. Each year it's a different programme which runs every evening from 10pm.

What particularly pleased me during my last visit was to see much of the sculptured choir screen clean. It was just a black blob when dirty but now you can see the fantastic 16th and 18th century sculptures depicting the life of Christ. The restorers haven't mucked around with the decor. They have faithfully followed the original and the work completed is world class.

To read more on the controvery go here https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/01/arts/design/chartres-cathedral-restoration-controversial.html

And the restoration go here https://www.francetoday.com/culture/chartres-the-famous-cathedral-is-newly-restored/

The cathedral has always been a place of pilgrimage. If,like me, you enjoy seeing marvellous monuments being looked after with care and preserved for the years to come, pop a visit here on your list, especially when the sound and light shows are running.


Check out the labyrinth on the floor on the Nave (see image). There's an interesting boutique to buy souvenirs, and plenty of carparking in the underground parks nearby. The only place there I haven't yet been to is to see the crypt. This is the oldest part of the cathedral with vestiges of one of the earlier cathedrals upon which the current one is founded. I hope I get back to this area of France one day. It's an easy train ride from Paris.