Hanging with the cocaine king

I'm reading a book in French called Le Prince de la Coke. I stumbled upon news of this explosive second book while exploring YouTube. There was a link to a name I hadn't encountered for nearly 10 years. Out of curiosity and almost shock I watched several videos of my ex-boyfriend Gérard being interviewed by journalists, lawyers and Radio and TV presenters.

It turns out that all the crazy stories he had told me were true. Indeed he really had been a notorious French (and elsewhere) gangster. He was a top drug trafficker, specialising in cocaine to the rich and famous, the right-hand man for Marseille-based godfather Gaetan Zampa, a bank robber/hitman until he was arrested in 1986. Gérard has spent a total of 18 years behind bars in various countries and escaped three times but, as his interviews reveal, it wasn't always so bad. Being such an important gangster he had access to everything he wanted in France. Holland had been his crime university. He put his years in prison in various countries to good use learning languages, accounting, passing exams and writing.

Gérard had shown me drafts of his books and poems in 2010 but at the time was too afraid of assassination if he published them so I advised him to leave the manuscripts with his lawyer. With the passage of time and deaths of many of those he had dealings with, such as corrupt politicians, the elite, intellectuals, businessmen, music celebrities etc he has less to fear though he has recently received threats. His protection, he says, is that if anything was to happen to him the proof would be exposed and that would be very bad for the perpetrators. He supplied the likes of the French equivalent of Jeffrey Epstein,  former French President Chirac,  Mick Jagger, Johnny Hallyday, Yves Saint Laurent, Robert Stigwood, dealing with the Vatican, to name only a few.

He is staunchily against child sex trafficking and pedophilia and is trying to raise awareness of the extent of this activity. His book alludes to a member of the British Royal Family. We can guess who.  He detests the hypocrisy of politicians, has some revenge as a motivation, and maybe he is looking for some sort of redemption because his crimes are many.

As I watched and listened to the videos I was transported back to our time together which had its highs and lows. Highs because he was super intelligent, handsome and charming and could be down-to-earth, helping me put up curtains with his electric drill, helping me find a winter coat, and going grocery shopping together but he also had angry moods, fear of the cops, a revolver handy, and irrational behaviour, and that's why I did not remain in the relationship. He had been very open with me about his really bad past but had a good side too and that's the one I mostly enjoyed with him.

His first book 'Dealer to the Whole of Paris' was published in 2018 and has sold out. This second book chronicles his life, lifting the lid on his famous coke clients and his work with the DEA.

He had told me he was retired from the women, the champagne, the drugs. I gave him the benefit of the doubt; he was no longer young, but I was a little dubious when he tried to give me a fur coat and jewellery. I was also a bit perturbed at le Chesnay shopping centre as he encountered guys who were almost kissing his hand like Michael Corleone in the godfather. He admits he spent a large part of his life as an amoral and immoral creature. I wonder what happened between 2010 and now? Has he been back in prison? If so for what, at his age? Did he go back for the watch in a Belgian jail after our breakup and get incarcerated as a public enemy? His wikipedia entry is incomplete and poorly translated.

Now 74 years old, he prefers to write and has married the ex-wife of a prominent cop. I contacted him recently to offer congratulations on his publishing success, imagining he would never remember me, but he did, replying it would be impossible to forget a lovely creature such as me. He asked about earthquakes in Christchurch and was it safe there now? He gave me his mobile number in case I am ever near Paris. I'd love to have a catchup one day. I have a great many questions. I have never forgotten him and in a corner of my mind I have a soft spot for him - the ultimate really bad boy.

Note: You may ask why on earth I would I have a relationship with someone who has done so many bad things? The pre-2010 me would think the same, but you see I was utterly alone on the other side of the planet. I had lost my country, my language, my home and job, my relationships and all my belongings from 55 years. No friends or family. There was only NOW. I was looking at a fresh, blank page and the chance to have new and richer experiences. My work colleagues, who had met him, said give him a chance if he treats you well, so I did, until the sudden, bizarre and shocking end of our relationship. My spirit is far more open to possibilities these days. In fact the worst life for me would be a mundane one. That is intolerable to me now and a constant risk now that I am back in NZ. So, my life is richer and has been more exciting with colourful international characters like Gérard in it.

Photos are from my private collection 2010.

For a chronology of our relationship see links below or read my book:

https://francesbigadventure.blogspot.com/20 10/11/disappointing-and-disastrous-weekend.html

https://francesbigadventure.blogspot.com/2010/11/rebuilding.html

https://francesbigadventure.blogspot.com/2010/11/barely-above-zero.html

To see Gerard in action with the media this year see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_Nf-GwU1Eo

He has other books in the pipeline including one about the assassination of a previous King of Morocco.

Kiwis demonising kiwis

Reading posts and comments on Facebook and elsewhere pertaining to a handful of quarantine escapes makes me sad. I feel that I am not welcome back in New Zealand, that I don't belong here.

No I'm not an escapee from a covid quarantine facility but now I'm starting to feel I was an escapee from a mean-spirited, bigotted, ignorant and defensive society that doesn't have any idea (and doesn't want any) of what is beyond these islands. NO, I'm not referring to the raging pandemic.

Good on our team of 5million who, for the most part, followed the rules to keep us all safe and help get our economy back somewhat asap. Naturally there are dickheads who think only of themselves and won't consider the team and our country's direction. They exist for every issue out there.

I suppose the poorly educated and poorly disciplined media  have delighted in taking advantage of this and stirring things up but I am seeing widespread nasty, hysterical ranting against people who have left NZ and have the audacity to come back.

Returnees are being stereotyped by intolerance and general ignorance of anyone else's situation, by kiwis who have never taken a risk and lived overseas. Apparently NZers should not be allowed back here because they are green-grass seekers, opportunists, parasites who haven't contributed to NZ's economy. OK let's be clear, people like me are disloyal to NZ and kiwis don't want us back. We are Traitors!

Sigh! This is not news! I've known that for many years.

When I was living in France I never knew how long I would be able to stay there. I kept tabs on what was happening in NZ on a daily basis. I was a member of the global KEA network, a network of expats creating connections, offering each other contacts, business advice, moral support and research: a very supportive thing. https://www.keanewzealand.com/

A survey was conducted amongst the hundreds of thousands of members as to their experiences and difficulties encountered when trying to come back 'home'. It was truly sobering and mostly negative. Mostly negative because of the suspicious and antagonistic, and discriminatory attitude of kiwis who had never left NZ shores.

Recruiters didn't feel comfortable with our CVs which included experiences they would never understand and couldn't pigeonhole. HR staff felt threatened by applicants for jobs in NZ who had better qualifications or more diverse experiences than they and/or management had. But we were not a threat. We should have been an asset because generally we are not petty. We are used to mixing it up with anyone to get the best results. And we still care about NZ.

Overwhelmingly we were seen as traitors and that was pretty hard to take. We had left NZ. We left the team for selfish reasons? WE thought to better ourselves more than kiwis who stay? How dare we try to have more exciting, adventurous or more lucrative experiences elsewhere. We should all stay at the arse-end of the planet, away from influences of the rest of the world, away from cultural, social or financial enrichment.

These distressing survey results led some of us to ponder what could be done to help Kiwis needing to get home, how to help them into jobs. A small think tank got together. It included myself, Tony Alexander who was then BNZ chief economist, and a handful of other professionals scattered around the globe. We had meetings via group skype calls. We wondered how to fund an innovative website to help expats, which specialised in finding solutions and promoting them into employment because it was clear, most recruiters in NZ were unwilling or incapable of doing this.

Despite the best will in the world, we ended up disbanding because there was no leader and no money to start making things happen and we were meeting in our personal time. Everyone was so busy. I was in an unusual position where I had not emigrated for a fancy new high-paying job. I was extremely vulnerable, in a subsitence-paying job with no employment security from year to year and being serious abused by my boss (yep, a kiwi-born bully of sickening magnitude). I never fit the stereotype expat. I had left NZ at the age of 55 with only a suitcase, containing legal and medical documents and a qwerty keyboard - full of desperate hope of a life better than losing my home in Auckland. In hindsight it was the best decision I could have made.

In Europe where so many countries can be accessed by car, let alone a 2 hour plane ride, this nasty attitude towards those from other countries does not noticeably exist. In fact, international experience is welcomed and normal and often valued. It demonstrates initiative and provides employers with expertise they never had to pay to develop.

The argument that expats don't contribute to the NZ economy is equally ignorant. Many of us do. While I lived in France I rented out my deteriorating family home. This helped out a family, gave income to a property manager and I paid tax on rental income. How is this not contributing? Plus I had been paying tax in NZ since I was 15.

I was told I was disloyal by several kiwis because I had moved overseas. Disloyal to what? A country that didn't give a shit about making me unemployed and destroying my career at a vulnerable age? A country that wouldn't let me contribute to kiwisaver from overseas? A country that stripped me of my right to vote? A country that ultimately destroyed the life I had struggled to build in France by it's immoral retirement rules? I wouldn't have left if NZ had provided fair opportunities. What I had to go through to save myself was extremely upsetting and challenging. Well, lots of water under the bridge and very rich experiences have passed. NZ would never have provided half those rich experiences.

Many people love NZ and have no wish to leave. I have no issue with that and totally understand but when so many kiwis denigrate expats, punish them for leaving, call us traitors and want to ban kiwis from coming home I see one of the things I never missed about NZ: a widespread juvenile jealousy of others doing something different. Tall poppy is particular to this country though maybe it exists somewhere else. Scarcely in Europe.

Yes, of course, there will be kiwis coming back and using the system and buggering off again later just as there are a few lazy bastards milking the welfare system but don't class us all as parasite expats or dole-bludgers or I'll wish the bad times on you so you'll understand. We are not all the same. For many of us life is a struggle and we do what we can to survive. We give our best wherever we are and we sacrifice, we contribute and we can never know what the future will hold.

I'm only back because you forced me to be. That will be the case for many kiwis returning. Many will have lost all forms of financial support overseas. Visas will have expired. Visas usually depend on employment. Some expats will have had to leave family members overseas in order to come back. Some come back because families here need them. There will be struggle, sadness, fear, discrimmination to deal with.

In the nearly three years since I have been back it has been a huge financial, social and emotional struggle, alone. I have felt the weight of increasing agressive nastiness which now pervades Aotearoa. So, I have a somewhat more open perspective on returnees during the pandemic, as I do towards those who fall on hard times, have a different culture or practice various religions, even if they are not my personal thing.

Be kind... and grow up New Zealand.