Kaikoura's Classic Car Museum

I recently stumbled upon a little treasure in Kaikoura. Feeling in need of a quick bite we pulled up to Bernie's Diner. So much fun (the way Burger King was once in the long ago past), Every thing was American retro 60s at 105 Beach Rd. 

Ah, those milkshake containers, the little collection of mustard, tomato sauce and salt on each table. Spotless presentation and the service was faster than MacDonalds Matamata. I'd done my research and knew there was another even better reason to be here: Harmon's Classic Car Museum. It was created in 2017 by father and son Geoff and Bernard Harmon with their passion for cars. It remains a private collection.

I was delighted at the range and quality of models from the USA. The British cars were simply functional and boring though that's all that many of us Kiwis would have had experience of in our youth. The American cars were plastered with chrome, terrific upholstery, glam and certainly plenty of space. You'd never fit a parking space these days with those cars. 

Such big boots with luggage space, full size spare tyres you can easily get to, bench seats - younger generations will never know how exciting those could be. It was great to see under the hood of some of the models and be able to recognise various components. In my younger days I could change a tyre, change fuses and spark plugs, fill the radiator and window washer reservoir. Things look simpler now but in reality are much more complicated these days with everything dependent on electronics. 

Inside an annex were some interesting displays of unrestored cars, a classic caravan used back in the 60s and 70s, a huge stationwagon for beach holidays complemented with a diorama, a boat and even old petrol pumps. I still remember my father filling up the car with Caltex boron. Nothing lead-free back then. My parents started out with an old Singer and then progressed to Mum having a Humber and Dad a Mark 4 Zephyr. Alas the Zephyr rolled with a caravan during high winds on a hilly road while my parents were on holiday and was badly damaged. My father, who was driving, was quite battered too but cars were pretty solid in those days. He drove it home with a stoved in roof and the windscreen held to the car by ropes. 

 American cars were hard to come by so NZ was pretty much British automobiles until Japanese imports made their presence felt and greater reliability was a blessing, along with the reduced price tag.

There were additional items included in the museum: old petrol-powered bikes from the 20s, a Vespa scooter, a beautiful terracotta-coloured bike with sidecar and old traffic cop bikes. These were before the traffic division was assimilated by the police. Honda was the preferred brand and I remember them well though I never had any 'personal' dealings with them.

In a side wing could be found a Trash Fashion display of some of the winning entries since 2001. Trash Fashion is Kaikoura's premier entertainment event. The outfits are all from recycled trash which might be toilet paper or aluminium can rings, fabric or plastic twisties for bread, to name a few elements.

The museum includes a scaled replica of the West End of the main street of Kaikoura as it was at least 70 years ago. Included are some of the important buildings that are now gone.

Once back in the diner you can buy car-centric merchandise.

I had a lot of fun here remembering my own past with cars and motorbikes, family jaunts and asociated other memories..

It's open 7 days a week for breakfast and lunch, doughnuts and milkshakes, burgers and coffee.   www.harmons.co.nz

Medicine drives me nuclear

Medecines are developed to treat medical problems but they can have some pretty nasty side effects. We know this but often doctors simply do what they are used to prescribing and give little thought to consequences, or hope for the best further down the line. If we are in an acute situation, such as open heart surgery, we don't know what later effects medicines may have as doctors don't tell us.

Six weeks after two open heart surgeries I was back in the hospital because the mountain of medicines I was expected to take was wrecking my gastrointestinal system. Doctors ummed and ahhed as to what might be causing my pain symptoms and nausea but it was me, the patient, who ended up nudging their considerations into medicine issues. I was proven right after 2/3 of my meds were discontinued or dosages reduced and I finally started to get better. 

I thought I was past the worst and that from now on I would only improve but five months after surgery I felt I was sliding backward with massive palpitations, fatigue, two instances of nearly losing conciousness while doing moderate exercise. I found myself spending more time on the sofa and had to give up my exercise classes at the sports centre and the aquatic centre. By the time I was seven months post-op I knew I had better alert my GP. Blood tests were done

They came back abnormal for thyroid function and very low vitamin D (which was surprising for a gardener like myself), In future I will cover up a bit less when outside. It's a fine line for we spritely elders getting enough UV for Vitamin D production and too much UV leading to skin cancer. I was now hyperthyroid with the associated heart symptoms.

Further tests ruled out Graves disease which is autoimmune. Specialists revealed my thyroid troubles had been caused by Amiodorone, a powerful antiarhythmia drug which can cause damage long after it is discontinued as its mega-iodine effect stays in the human body for up to a year, causing havoc in some of us. Key consequences can be a stuffed up thyoid, heart damage, osteoporosis and even pulmonary fibrosis, a terminal lung condition whereby you die within weeks, months but certainly within three years. There is a class action law suit forming in the US against this drug due to the nasty side effects.

I may have dodged a bullet as that second hospital stay saw Amiodorone discontinued though clearly the effects are with me. At least I have minimised the length of time I was on it. It's very worrying for patients when something like this comes out of the blue, the fault of a drug prescribed by doctors.

I am now on another medicine to help my thyroid normalise but we have to be careful in case it tips my thyroid into becoming hypo  and thus requiring lifelong medication. Sheesh! My thyroid needed further investigation and since there is a 4 month waiting list for the thyroid clinic I was pleased they were taking things seriously. So I agreed to go radioactive as part of a diagnostic scan using molecular medicine. Christchurch Hospital receives a canister of the preferred radioactive isotope once a week and it is preprepared into the correct testing doses.

Nuclear medicine uses radioactive material inside the body to see how organs or tissue are functioning (for diagnosis) or to target and destroy damaged or diseased organs or tissue (for treatment).

Unlike x-rays, CT and MRI scans that give structural information, Nuclear Medicine imaging demonstrates the function of an organ or organ system by monitoring the passage, accumulation or excretion of a radiopharmaceutical (a radioactive pharmaceutical).

To perform a Nuclear Medicine scan, the radiopharmaceutical is first administered to the patient, usually intravenously. Depen​​ding on the type of scan, the pictures may be taken immediately and/or after a period of time during which the pharmaceutical localises in the target organ or system.

Thyroid scanning is a well established test for evaluating many thyroid diseases.  The thyroid scan aids in the evaluation of hyperthyroidism by demonstrating findings that differentiate Graves' disease, toxic adenoma, toxic multinodular goitre and thyroiditis. 

• Following an IV injection of ^99mTc-Pertechnetate, there is a waiting time of approx. 30 minutes, Apart from the needle, it doesn't hurt. This radioactive product will concentrate in the thyroid gland. Pertechnetate is excreted in breast milk, so breastfeeding women are advised to express and discard breast milk for 26 hours after injection.

• The scan takes approx. 10 minutes to complete. I had a 2 minute one, followed by a 4 minute one. I was not allowed to swallow during the scan.

  After a few hours, certainly after a day, I am no longer radioactive. The scan confirms I have drug-induced thyroiditis. With careful medicine correction I hope to eventually get back to normal.

  Don't take those regular blood test checkups lightly. They can reveal problems that can't always be seen. Stay vigilant and be your own advocate.
  

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yfdXzZ6Uu0 Hyperthyroidism vs hypothyroidism in detail

  
  
  
  

 

 

Quilting makes feelings tangible and dreams reality

In an old nineteenth century schoolhouse at Fernside, Canterbury is a woman and her quilting studio providing consolation, celebration and inspiration for fellow New Zealanders and overseas clients. Patchworks, quilts, bags and special commissions all jostle for Verina Thirlwell’s passionate attention. The rhythmic clonk and whirr of the Bernina sewing machine is stitching together thoughts, feelings and hopes in a way that heals, excites and creates community.

She listens to others people’s hurt and needs and allows her creativity to guide her in creating unique stitched items that give joy. It’s a magical place.

Patchwork and quilting are increasingly popular in New Zealand but few quilters achieve the results Verina does.

Patchwork is a work, such as a blanket, composed of many different colours and shapes, sewn together to make an interesting whole.

Quilting is patterned stitching creating bed coverings, art wall hangings, clothing, and a variety of textile products. It can be done by hand, via a sewing machine, or by a specialized long-arm quilting system.

The process

Fabric, or patchworks, brought to Verina’s quilting studio is laid out on the work bench and there follows a discussion on quilting styles, patterns and variables. The client usually chooses the backing they want. Verina then sketches up a design and provides a timeframe. Most clients leave the creative process to her and are then presented with the finished work of art.

Layers are built up while seeking balance in the composition. Where memory quilts are concerned, rather than bed quilts, she adds trims or decorative stitches. She adds depth and texture to the work by adding in hand embroidery or hand quilting. This can emphasise a special piece that has major importance as the eye is drawn to the detail.

What she enjoys the most is being given free rein on the style of quilting but it is the joy on a client’s face that is the most satisfying aspect for Verina.

“That’s exactly what I wanted. You’ve done the impossible- turned a sow’s ear into a silk purse,” enthused a happy client.

Another said “I wanted a stitchery. Verina’s talent adds value to my work. She’s consistent, reliable and she makes sure her quilting never takes over my stitchery.”

Sometimes she receives special commissions where she has to create the patchwork and then quilt it. Her service might extend to going shopping with clients to find suitable materials that they like but 95% of the time clients bring in their own patchworks to be quilted.

Clients come mostly from Canterbury, but also further afield from Marlborough/Nelson, the North Island and even Indonesia.

Making memorial cushions

These very special, unique designs are constructed from elements supplied by customers, which are sentimental and hold great meaning, often being representative of loved ones who have died.

Firstly, Verina lays out the fabrics, trims, buttons, beads and any other materials to cover a foundation fabric. She usually collects the materials first before thinking of the design. If the cushion is a collaboration between her and the client, they discuss the collection of elements and their significance and importance they have. She then sketches a design and provides a timeframe. Verina employs her creative processes and later presents them as the finished work.

Quite a number of clients appreciate the tactile connection they gain through hugging memorial cushions. The fabrics used all have special meaning; designs can recall past happy times, and personal embellishments such as beads and jewellery bring memories of the departed back into everyday life.

Men enjoy receiving a personalised cushion for birthdays or retirements, or perhaps recognising a special achievement.

A haven of tranquillity

The studio has been described as a refuge and retreat for those who have had trauma in their lives. A calm atmosphere pervades there that has nothing to do with Verina. No doubt it’s the rural setting, the sense of history and continuation which seeps from the walls of the old Springbank schoolhouse.

There’s even a pair of chairs and an art deco daybed near the gas fire, intended as an area to sit and host clients but often the space is filled with works in progress or completed items awaiting collection.

Confidentiality is important and clients know that they can be open and free to say what they want, without judgement. Verina’s empathy encourages clients to open up about what matters to them in each commission, large or small. Sometimes grief takes time to evolve to a point where clients feel ready to have clothing from the departed made into a quilt. The finished quilt can turn grief into joy and celebration of a life well-lived and person well-loved.

The studio is also the venue for quilting classes. Twice weekly 6-8 students learn the art of quilting. The trusty Bernina sewing machine is always ready to go and there’s plenty of space on the large cutting table. Some students consider their lessons life-savers. The meetings give members something to look forward to, therapy and good company.

The schoolhouse was also the venue for a group of volunteers who, led by Verina, gave of their time and money to produce a great many charity patchwork quilts to give to the families of the Mosque attack victims in Christchurch 2019. Waltham School distributed them.

The quilting studio is the main focus of the business but Verina also enjoys the more creative side of using old clothes, doilies, laces and trims to make something beautiful; be it a cushion, sewing case, or to decorate an item of clothing. The latter work is fiddly and will probably never supersede the quilting but she’ll take on almost anything.

Creative challenges

Recently she accepted a new challenge: working on a large tapestry from France. It had been unmounted, dry-cleaned and posted to NZ, which had pulled it out of shape. It needed to be turned into a wall hanging in a French-styled house in Canterbury. Verina went so far as to pin it to the carpet in her dining room, blocked out as squarely as possible, while it dried back into shape. It was then lined and made ready to take pride of place in the client’s home, reminding her of her love of France and French history.

This talented seamstress created a teddy bear for a young girl, from the girl’s departed grandmother’s dressing gown. She added photographs on fabric of the girl and her grandma to the paw pads for a special touch. The finished result impressed the girl’s parents and moved the little girl emotionally as now she can cuddle and talk to the bear in a spiritual connection with her Grandma.

Verina once made a teddy bear for a wedding that was made from scraps of the wedding dress she had made for a client. Beaded and embroidered, he sat on the back shelf of the bridal car and then on the cake table.

Quilts can be very happy celebrations too

The birth of a new baby, or a birthday or wedding anniversary can be the inspiration for a new quilt.

Quilts are also made to be read, to inspire and to express feelings: handwritten comments can be added to the fabric. Bags are quilted and beaded for weddings or special anniversaries. Verina even created a unique quilt for herself to celebrate her own 50^th birthday. She requested family and friends to send her a patchwork block or piece of fabric rather than a card or present. The resulting memories sewn into the quilt remind her how blessed she is to have such lovely people in her life. The range of fabrics, blocks and feelings were as varied as her friends and continue to give her great delight.

Perhaps we should all have a memories box where we can put special objects away, and when we have enough, send them off to be turned into wonderful remembrances as quilts, bags, table linen and clothing. It puts a new turn on reuse or recycle but these beautiful objects can become family or personal heirlooms and give joy for decades to come.

Verina’s journey

Verina made her first patchwork when she was just 12 years old. Maybe it was encouragement from her granny who was a tailoress. She started with English paper piercing which consists of hexagonal paper templates and is very traditional. Nowadays almost anything goes.

Her work evolved into patchwork shapes to make a ‘block’. Blocks are repeating patterns, like tiles. What she once did with hand stitching is now done by machine.

Verina trained as an early Childhood Educator and spent 35 years mostly helping special needs children. She was quilting part time but eventually she left teaching and its mountain of paperwork to spend more time exploring her creative talents. She invested in an old quilting machine and has never looked back.

https://www.facebook.com/Just4youquilting/

 

Photographs courtesy of Frances Harrison and Verina Thirlwell

Templeton Daffodils, Christchurch

 How to appreciate these heralds of Spring? Visit a daffodil farm. I'm a member of the Rolleston Garden Club and our outing this month was to pop out to Templeton Daffodils for a feast for the eyes and some tips on growing these bulbs. 

David and Leitha Adams own and manage the farm. 

They have been producing lists of daffodils for thirty years. It's mostly now a devoted hobby producing and selling as many bulbs as they can reasonably manage. They also enter daffodil shows, such as the big one at Woodend, exhibiting their best blooms that the earwigs haven't spoiled. On occasions the farm is visited by high-profile persons who have heard about their blooms and bulbs. Even The Netherlands appreciates the new shapes and colours the Adams have produced over the years.

Breeding bulbs is a long-term project. The flowers are not cut to supply florists. Instead they are left to sow seed and the seedlings are left for 5 years to produce their first flower. After that it's a matter of selection as to which plants will continue

to do their own thing or be used for selective breeding. Once plants can flower with predicable results their bulbs can be offered for sale. Every seedling that results from random pollination is unique - some are more desirable than others. The flower beds have increased over the years but David informed us that from seed - selection-checking results can take 15 years for one new cultivar.

Types of daffodils and related bulbs include: Trumpets, large cups, small cups, doubles, Jonquils, Tazettas, Split Coronas, Poeticus and Bulbocodium hybrids.

David and Leitha have provided some interesting names for their cultivars : Cream Scone, Simply Purring, White Imp, for example.

Customers need to order before 30 January 2023.Brian starts sending out bulb orders in March and finishes end of April. International orders include a Phytosanitary Certificate.

David gave us some important planting advice: If you live in Canterbury you need to plant your daffodils extra deep. The Nor-Westers are not kind to these tall-blooming flowers, exposing the bulb to insect invasion and also stressing the plant so it may not send up many flower stalks. Even when you so everything right, earwigs can wreak havoc by chewing the edges of the flower petals.

We were generously allowed to pick a bunch of daffodils for free, each, from the field where the Adams had already dug out the best bulbs for production and selling. How awesome to wander down the beautiful rows of flowers and choose what we liked best.My bunch has pride of place on my dining table.

 If you would like more information on growing daffodils and their related cousins check out the following websites...

https://daffodilusa.org/growing-daffodils/bulb-sources-ordering-tips/specialty-growers/ 

https://daffodil.org.nz/special-categories/

 https://daffseek.org/  for an international database with photos

Endless Service deficit by Telco

 aka Highway to Hell. We are all dependent on continuous telecommunications service these days. Partly this is our hunger for more efficient ways to communicate and entertain ourselves, and partly it is driven by the 'powers-that-be' in terms of their technology and business agendas and strategies. I feel like a pawn in a sick chess game.

I experienced a loss of all telecoms service; that's phone and internet, earlier this month. Apparently my streaming use had used up my generous data allowance but that didn't explain why my separate phone plan was affected. To suddenly find you can't lead a normal life with a basic service we are all 'required to have and need' hits home immediately. I thought I had better top up. This is impossible if you have no phone service. I was obliged to go to a neighbour and ask for help with contacting the dreadful Vodafone customer care staff hiding behind a ghastly voice recognition/AI mindless voice that understands nothing and sends you on a continuous loop of menu options. Eventually I managed to top up my account to receive some phone and internet.

I'd had enough and figured I'd better avoid running out by changing my plan to a more expensive endless phone calls and internet data plan. Oh dear! I dared to change something and I went from pillar to post. My frustration with their call centre system prompted me to send an email to the CEO of Vodafone NZ, Jason Paris. You can't email customer services. That option no longer exists.

11 August 2022

Dear Jason

I am in the process of converting from wireless broadband to fibre. My home is modern and there is some fibre in the street and the outside of my house. I placed the order 04 August and have still not received the modem to complete the installation. My current wireless broadband modem is not compatible with fibre.

 

Over the past few days I have been shuttled between Philippines and India with the usual accompanying difficulties of communication and looking things up at their end. I have been informed by India that I cannot have a modem until Enable say the connection is completed.

The Enable guys say the opposite, that they cannot complete without the modem (logical). What is going on? After spending hours on multiple days trying to find the right person overseas who can action something the best I can expect is a modem to arrive in 72 hours. Who knows how to set it up? Not sure I do and if it doesn't work what do I do then?

There are three issues here that need your attention:

1. The nightmare of an automated phone menu that can't behave intuitively. Sure, you don't have to pay staff but the service is awful to deal with. I just go round and round with the voice telling me it doesn't understand and giving me a menu which doesn't match my enquiry. I have very good diction.
   

2. Something is wrong with your installation process. The modem should arrive BEFORE Enable plugs it in. I have a garage full of Enable guys who can't finish their job
   

3. You said publicly more than a year ago that you were bringing back the customer care call centres within a year. I say bullshit. I only get to talk to the Philippines or India. What is your personal assurance worth?
   

As an ex Communications and PR specialist I would say this whole Vodafone customer experience is sub-standard and you are losing credibility when you fail to deliver on your public promises, which were key issues in 2021.

Quoting your good self... Feb 26 2021."

He says the Vodafone Business call centre has “100 per cent been brought back to New Zealand”, acknowledging that while the company has “great people overseas” the accent barrier has proved “really difficult”, often leading to miscommunication.

The same is true for the consumer call centre, which he says by the end of 2021 will also largely be based in New Zealand." https://www.1news.co.nz/2021/02/25/our-service-hasnt-been-good-enough-vodafone-boss-touts-big-changes-call-centres-coming-back-to-nz/

I call bullshit on all those meangless promises. They never delivered for domestic customers.

Thirty minutes after sending him the email, a nice underling who handles complaints called me and said he would help sort things out. He checked my top-up had gone through and said the modem had been ordered back on the 4th but that the order had stopped for some reason so he would reactivate that so my modem should arrive in 72 hours. It did. I called Enable and got the guys back a couple of days later to complete the installation. They couldn't shut the cabinet door as the electric plugs are too bulky to fit the connection inside. I would have to get a small trianglular double adapter, unplug and re-plug in the fibre box.

I discovered my internet was still constantly dropping out to the point where streaming and using YouTube for my music practice became impossible. I checked the internet speed. It was very slow. I went through the horror of the Vodafone customer call centres off-shore to eventually be told the fibre had not been activated their end. This is despite me previously calling them the day of completed installation to update their system and cancel my wireless broadband as I would now be on the fibre contract. They assured me I now had fibre service. no aplogies and no compensation for days of not having the service I was now paying for.

The speeds still seemed slow, in fact worse. I also received a text message telling me I had reached my credit limit and could no longer have phone or internet until I gave them my credit card details. I thought it was just an admin error but no... there's more. The next day I had no phone, nor internet, again, yet I was on an endless monthly plan. 

I tried to have a bot chat with Vodafone just before my telecoms service cut out but they told me to disconnect modem and cable and fibre and WAN cable and power to reset things. When I reconnected the fibre box it would not light up again.

I jumped in my car to seek help from a friend with a mobile. He wasn't home so I had to drive home and hope the neighbours were now awake and able to use their phone to call Vodafone OMG call centre. Within 20 minutes of waiting there was steam coming from his ears as he tried to get a PERSON to answer and help. More waiting and then a woman with an Asian accent no doubt in Mumbai said she could not proceed unless he would verify his account. But he does not have a Vodafone account. He had already given them my account details. She insisted. My neighbour replied it had nothing to do with his non-Vodafone account. We could get nowhere, she couldn't understand us and put us on hold. We hung up and with my neighbour's phone I contacted the complaints guy in Auckland via his smartphone. He rang me back to say my disconnection was all due to a system they had years back where new customers were limited in the credit they could rark up. I said I had never asked for that, in fact knew nothing about it and it should never have been applied to me as I was on an endless monthly contract. He spent ages tapping on his computer and after getting my password was able to disactivate this antiquated admin. He also said he would lodge a work order for Enable to come out but that I too should call Enable about it, just to make sure. He did not apologise. No responsibility was acknowledged. No compensation was offered.

An hour and a half after I spoke to Enable's customer service with yet another 'accent' though she assured me she was based in Christchurch, The Guys from Enable arrived at my door. Their third visit to me, we get on well now.

Ron and Frank were great. They responded promptly and checked and corrected every element that could be giving me fibre problems including internet speed via modem direct and wifi on my laptop, also power plug configuration in the Telecoms cabinet in my garage. They discovered a switch impossibly hidden behind plugs had been knocked to the off position when I reconnected power to the fibre box. They checked my TV was set up correctly for me since moving to fibre. Some of this may not be strictly in their job description but it is necessary to rule out interferences to fibre connections. However, not so impressed with the woman from Enable customer service who said I should never have switched off my fibre box, despite Vodafone telling me to do that for a reset and also being previously told to do that by Ron and Frank in order to change the plug configuration for electricity.  

I eventually got there but the interface between Vodafone and Enable is not so great (mostly the fault of Vodafone). I shudder to think of my fate if I had not had the cellphone number of that guy from Vodafone HQ as a result of my email to the CEO. They just don't care. I have explained that no amount of new sales staff they are currently recruiting is going to stop them losing customers from all this shit. They have no credibility. Their CEO tells 'pork pies' to the media when Vodafone are getting flak through poor service. I had better stick with them for now but I desperately want to be the customer of a telco that is responsive, easy to deal with, cares about customer care and can liaise with Enable with intelligent English-as-a-first-language speakers based in NZ. PLEASE. This has dragged on with hours of stress for three weeks now.

I am also dubious about their statement that I had orginally used up all my phone data as here is a graphic showing my useage up to last month on my old Lite plan. Who knows what to think. My phone useage behaviours have not changed.

Anatomy of an online dating scam

Ever wondered how scammers operate on online dating sites? What do they actually say to hook potential victims? Here's your chance to be a 'fly on the wall'. I recently experienced a scam but fear not, there was never any possiblity of losing any money as I don't have any and don't trust easily these days. The following exerpts from email communications over a 3 week period are heavily edited (especially mine as most info on me is already in the public domain). The scammer is in black type, I am in green and my editorial comments are in red. The following messages start after initial contact on the dating site. His profile then abruptly became unavailable. This is, I have now discovered, a scammer technique as they hide and don't wish to pay to use the sites. The fiction was that he was working on an oil platform in the North Sea off the cost of scotland. Due to return to Christchurch in two weeks which somehow stretched to three.

I have included photos of this 'person' who is probably some poor guy unaware his image is being used. If you know who this person is in the photo please let me know. I have not revealed the name as it is probably bogus and I don't want to upset people with the same name. So...Read on... What do you make of it?

 A: How are you? I hope you're good and you've had a very fine weekend. Thanks very much for responding to my message on the dating site. I really do appreciate having you here and i hope we can develop a beautiful relationship together...smiles.

I am sorry for my delayed reply, i have been a little busy at work. I also got a bit of sad news a few days ago and it's got me quite down and slow. I lost a very dear friend and i am still quite shocked over his death. He was a very fit and healthy gentleman. He wasn't sick, until he had a sudden heart stroke and he didn't survive it. He was like my only friend and i will miss him greatly. I pray his soul rest in perfect peace.

I didn't have much on my profile, so i will try to introduce myself formally here and you can ask whatever question you like when you reply...smiles.
My name is A**** M*******. I am a Virgo, Born September 13th, 1958. I am a widower as my wife passed away 4yrs ago. We never had kids, even though we tried several times. As we really love kids and wanted to have ours.
I am an easy going person, some say i'm always with a smile. I love sports(soccer), reading, music, movies(comedy), nature, hiking, traveling, going on a boat cruise... just the simple things of life.

I am a mixed American as my mum was Brazilian, while my Dad was an American. I live in Christchurch, but i am currently at the North Sea in Scotland for a contract job. We are constructing an offshore crude oil rig here at the North Sea.
I got the contract to supply some of the heavy duty machines needed and i also work as a Safety Supervisor on the platform. The project is supposed to end in March, but the pandemic slowed things down a bit as we had to stop work for a while. I've been back here on the platform for about 2 weeks now and i just have two more weeks to go before i come back home to Christchurch for my break. The project will be ending in September and i hope to retire afterwards. It is one more reason i joined the dating site. To find a partner to enjoy my retirement with.

It's been a while since i was in a relationship and i want love again in my life. I desire an understanding and honest lady who is ready to love and be loved, as life can be very lonely and boring without a companion. This sudden passing of my friend has just made me realize again that life's short and we just have to enjoy it and live it to the fullest while we can.

I know i am away now and we can't meet up right away. But i believe it can work in our favor, as we can use the time to get to know ourselves a bit, before we actually meet up in person. So we won't just be like complete strangers when we meet up...smiles. I feel it might be a bit awkward that way...smiles. I haven't dated in a while, so please pardon me if i am wrong about this.

I'll stop here, but will write again when next i read from you. You can tell me about yourself, just the basic things you would like me to know and you can ask whatever question you wish to know about me. Until then, you take good care of yourself and enjoy your week. Bye for now.

He uses American spelling. Generally good spelling except for the first person pronoun and a rather strange and repetitive use of syntax that would suggest he is not a native English speaker. There again, so many people can't write a normal sentence these days. The endearments are a bit odd. Sort of reminds me of those internet scammers from Nigeria.

 Email from me follows, outlining some personal info, likes and dislikes etc. Asking for more detailed info from him. An internet search reveals this person does not have a Facebook account, nor a webpage.

F: What sort of safety stuff do you have to do on the oil rig? Sounds cold out there, even though it is summer...What do you do in your spare time?...Why are  you in NZ/ Christchurch? ...

 A: Your email is really nice, i must let you know i am liking our communication already and i hope for the best for us. Thanks for your concern about my friend, it's quite sad but it's the way life is. We never get out of it alive.
Nice to know you're already retired as i will be doing so soon as well. How are you finding retirement? I sometimes fear i might get bored...smiles. It's why i don't plan on going into full time retirement. I will find something less stressful to keep me occupied for a few hours in a day or a few days of the week. It's one more reason i need a partner, to enjoy my retirement with. Travel and do whatever fun activity we like together...smiles.
We are quite alike as we both haven't been in a relationship for a while. I don't expect to find a perfect partner, just someone i can get along with and share the rest of my life with. You seem like a really nice and intelligent lady. That's good enough for me. I just hope you find me good enough too...smiles. I see you've tried internet dating before and i am a little surprised you're still single. What happened the last time you tried it? Didn't you meet anyone? Or were you just looking out for me...smiles.
It's a pretty cloudy day out here with a temperature of about 15C. I've been working out at the plant for most of the day. I just finished having my lunch break and i've got some time alone in my office, so i decided to come spend it with you...smiles.

 I spent my early childhood in Brazil before relocating to the United States. I used to speak fluent Portuguese back then in Brazil but changed to English when we relocated to the States. I forgot how to speak Portuguese over time due to lack of practice, but i couldn't let go of the accent completely...smiles.
I like dancing even though i am not so good at it. I just move my body to the melody. It's why i like almost all kinds of music, depending on my mood. I've got a few dance moves i can teach you when we get together and you can teach me some dancing as well...smiles.

The weather out here is always cold, some days are worse and some days ok. It's about 13C now and it's like it's going to be a sunny day. Our rig is still under construction, so our basic day to day activity is on machine installations and their various processes. I monitor the process to make sure everything is done correctly and safely. Making sure both the facility and the personnel are safe at all times.
I see you've got a really nice and flourishing garden...smiles. My late wife used to have one back in the States and i enjoyed fresh fruits and vegetables from it...smiles. I am not so good at gardening, so i don't have any at the moment. Maybe you can help me out in future when we get together...smiles.
I am sorry you couldn't see my profile on the dating site anymore when you checked. It's just like i told you in my message on the site, i didn't plan on staying on the site. So i deleted my profile after you wrote to me here. Didn't see any reason being there anymore as we can have all our communications here and meet up when the time is right.
I don't do so much during my spare time. I like to work out at the gym, nap, watch movies, read, go out for a walk and sight seeing...smiles.
I actually relocated to NZ for work and i just decided to stay back after my contract expired. My current job here at the North Sea is only temporary, so it's why i didn't bother relocating down here. I kind of like NZ, compared to the United States. It's relatively more peaceful and i believe it's such a place i need to be for my retirement. Somewhere serene and peaceful to relax and enjoy my golden years with my partner...smiles. Of course we can always travel to visit other countries from time to time but i want my home to be in NZ...smiles. France is also nice, but i don't really like it because of the language. I can't speak French and i am not so ready for the stress of learning a new language now...smiles.
Well, i will have to stop here to get started with my duties for the day. Need to sort out some paperwork in preparation for a meeting with the other engineers to discuss my incoming shipment from the United States. You take good care of yourself and enjoy your night as i look forward to reading from you again soon. Bye for now.

Elaborate details. Sounds convincing. He sends four photos, supposedly of himself so I reply by sending some of mine.

Thanks for your lovely email and photos. You're a very pretty lady and i feel really lucky being connected with you...smiles. I am glad you like my photos as well. The very first stage of any relationship is liking each other's physical appearance and i am glad we've crossed that stage already. From the little we've shared, i kind of feel you've got the inner beauty too and i look forward to exploring it all as we get along 

F: Please don't assume we are suited. I hope we are but chemistry is necessary and we have never met.  I don't even have a decent photo of you. You seem like a nice person and intelligent and interesting but that is not enough. I don't carry a lot of 'baggage' but the relationships I have had in the past have not been positive ones. I am very cautious and take things slowly because if a guy can't start as a good friend I can trust, it will never work to rush things.

I am looking forward to hearing from you. What do your heavy machines actually do?

Trying to get more specific info but it's like pulling teeth.

A: I admire your courage in relocating to France without understanding the language. But i understand you had to do what is needed at the time. I did likewise when i was in Qatar for 3yrs, but mine is different as i still couldn't speak Arabic after i left. My ears aren't so good with languages like yours. I can only visit non-English speaking countries but not relocate there permanently.

I am sorry if i sounded too forward about my intentions in my previous email. I am not a man that believes in rushing a relationship. Love comes softly and i believe friendship should always come first in any true relationship. It's one more reason i am happy we are meeting this way. Getting to know the basics about each other virtually before actually meeting up in person. I want the real thing or at least a good friendship.

It has been another cold day out here. Been working out at the plant for most of the day and we're done with all that for today. I've just finished having my lunch and will continue the day's task at the laboratory as we've got some testing and analysis to do. That will take up the rest of the work day. 

I will relax for a few minutes with a hot cup of coffee here in my office before i go out again. You just take good care of yourself always and have a very fine day ahead as i look forward to reading from you again later on.

  Just so you know, i am not looking for the perfect partner as i don't believe anyone is perfect. All i need is someone that is compatible with me and enjoys my company as much as i enjoy hers...smiles. So i can rightly say you're perfect for me as you are as you've got all i desire in a partner and more...smiles. I haven't been to a lot of places in NZ, so you see we have a lot to do together. Lots of places to see and fun activities lined up. I so much look forward to it all, even though i am more interested in just spending time with you and getting to know you...smiles.
The machines i am bringing in are mainly for drilling, power generation, metering and some general safety accessories. I will stop here to carry on with my duties as i look forward to reading from you again later on. I must confess you've been with me in my thoughts often these few days and i hope things just keep getting better for us..

 A: It's another cold and windy morning out here. It rained a bit during the night and it seems like it's going to rain again this morning. We will be going out for some maintenance work in another rig this evening and we will be there until Sunday. The internet there isn't so good, so i may not be able to write until we get back here on Sunday. I just must let you know, so you don't get too worried when you don't hear from me. I want you to know you will be with me in my thoughts and i will write as soon as possible.
I will stop here for now to go have my breakfast at the cafeteria as i look forward to reading from you again later on. Until then, you take good care of yourself and have a very fine night's rest.

A: How are you? I hope good and you haven't missed me too much...smiles. I missed you though and i've only just got settled back at my platform. You've been with me in my thoughts and i am here to spend a few mins with you. I will give a proper reply to your email in my morning. I just must let you know that i am still here and so much looking forward to meeting you soon. I should be coming home later this week and will let you know of my flight details as soon as I have it booked.
I am tired and will try to get some rest now. Do take good care of yourself always and enjoy a very fine day ahead. Bye for now.

F: Do you know yet when you will be back in Christchurch?....I would also be interested to know what values you deem important. I consider honesty, generosity of spirit, cleanliness, punctuality, reliability,  a sense of drive is important. There are others you can discover. What can you tell me about yourself?

A: I see you have quite a lot of work going on in your garden and i wish i am there to assist..smiles. I am not so good at gardening, but at least you won't have to be climbing a ladder with me around...smiles. Please be safe when you do that, or you can just wait until i come over and it will be my pleasure to get it done for you.

My shipment from the United States should be arriving at Aberdeen seaport next week. So i should be able to come home towards the weekend. Will surely let you know of my flight details soonest i have it booked. So you know when i am coming in and maybe you can meet me at the airport...smiles.

I am a simple man and just need a simple lady that is compatible with me. Someone caring, fun, understanding, intelligent and all the other values you mentioned in your mail...smiles. I just want someone that will be happy to share the rest of her life with me, as much as i will be overjoyed sharing forever with her too...smiles.

Sounds a bit cloying. Could still be legit.

 F: It was great to get your message. I was becoming a bit puzzled by the silence as it has been a couple of days since I last heard from you. Thank goodness you haven't fallen overboard or been crushed by heavy machinery. They must be keeping you very busy.

I have attached some photos of me in Rio 2012 for the Earth Summit. Do you have any photos of you on the oil platform?

Am happy to collect you from the airport so long as it fits in with any of my other commitments. Without a definite time from you it's a bit hit and miss. Hope you don't have too many hassles getting back to NZ in these covid times. I am looking forward to meeting you soon.

He replies he has no photos of him on the oil rig but will send some later. So why not take a selfie and send it? Hmmm. I am trying to be as neutral as possible but am starting to wonder. Folks, listen to your intuition.

A: I hope you had a lovely night's rest and you awake to another beautiful morning. I am not doing so well over here and it's the reason i couldn't write sooner.

I arrived here in the city yesterday evening but i had some issues as i got in and it has got me quite frustrated and stranded. I only noticed my bank account is frozen as i tried to use the ATM here in the city. I couldn't access my funds in the account, so i couldn't even pay for any hotel accommodation. I had to go make a report with the police and they assisted me in getting a place on credit in a serviced apartment.

I have been speaking with my bank all day to try to reactivate my account but they aren't really helping. They claim some money was transferred into the account from Russia and they suspect it's money laundering. I've explained that the money was sent in by a company i used to work for in Russia, to purchase some equipment for them from the United States, but they are still refusing to unfreeze the account. Saying i should give them time to carry out their investigations.

I am just so frustrated and don't know what else to do. As i need to access my funds in order to get my shipment cleared from the seaport. And the equipment is needed for work at the platform immediately. I've been thinking so much that i am having a migraine now.

Anyway, i just want to let you know what is going on, so you don't get too worried about me. I am still looking for ways to get things sorted and i will surely let you know when all is well again. You just take good care of yourself and have a very fine day ahead. I will be in touch. Bye for now.

What sort of international businessman is so incompetent not to have this sort of thing sussed or covered? Alarm bells are now ringing but there is no proof of scamming.

 F: You do realise this all sounds like an internet dating scam?

A: But what will I gain in scamming you. I can never stoop so low to do such. Just letting you know what is going on with me.

 F: It usually involves a guy needing money and they are always overseas. I have come across this before several times so I am very sceptical. Sorry if I have misjudged  you but dating sites are used for this and the fact that you immediately disappeared from the site is often an indicator. I certainly hope your situation gets resolved. I've tried a lot of internet dating over the years. I end up getting hurt. I am hoping you are not like that. This is why I don't like long distance.

A:  I understand you very well, but because you've been scammed by someone in the past doesn't mean everyone having issues is a scam. I told you i wasn't going to remain on the dating site after i sent you my email to contact me. I don't know why you will want to use that against me now.
Anyway, i am still looking for ways to get myself sorted. I will let you know when everything is good again and i am ready to come home. You just take care and have a nice evening.

 People trying to avoid paying for internet dating frequently find ways to add a profile and to give someone who interests them their email address in a format that is difficult for the site to pick up on. It doesn't mean they are not reasonable people. But... I am beginning to see a pattern.

 F: I do not wish to hold anything against you, simply to explain my reaction as I have been mislead, betrayed and lied to several times where distance is involved. There is currently a lot of that happening to men and women on the dating sites including a handful of incidents for myself alone. It is unfortunate that you have been caught up in such a difficult situation before we have even met.

All the best in resolving your current problem. Banks are very cagey with international money transfers these days, even extremely modest amounts, and I suppose anything to do with Russia these days could raise a red flag.

Fortunately you are in an English-speaking country. Do keep me up to date on developments and hope to see you back here safe and sound.

Take care

 

Am waiting to see if he will 'hang' himself. His next email should be interesting. I really hope it's not what I think it will be.

A: As i am still not settled over here and i wonder if you can assist. I've been trying to reach my friend all day for some monetary assistance but i can't seem to reach him on the phone or via email. I am very stranded and frustrated here and will so much appreciate your help. I just need a little loan to help get things sorted and i can pay back within the next few days. Thanks very much in anticipation of a favorable reply and do have a very fine day ahead. 

The definitive 'aha' moment. What decent guy who has never met the woman is going to ask for money? I play confused but trying to be helpful. A scammer should, by this time, realise he is wasting his time.

F: You would need to give me this person's phone number. Surely you must be needing a large sum of money to sort out your problems. I am in no position to help anyone financially, myself. If you have their phone number you could contact them directly?You could always try using Skype or zoom with your friend. I usually use Skype when communicating internationally.

Cheers and good luck.

 

No further communication from this jerk. Shame I wasted 3 weeks of 'hard to come by' hope. I have noticed a rash of guys putting profiles up and then immediately being labelled inactive members. I wrote a diary entry for the dating site alerting to some of the red flag behaviours but they did not show any real interest. I now report any guy's profile that semms to be using the same modus operandi. It's time consuming.

Back in the groove

 It has been more than three months since my open heart surgeries and I am now beginning to reclaim my new life.

My general practitioner has a decent grasp on things (after seeing me so regularly) and mostly agrees with my requests.Sleep eludes me no matter what is prescribed for sleep so I'm looking at having the offending medication changed and I will be resisting starting any new medicines unless the doc can justify it with evidence.

Pain control has been greatly improved since my GP put me on amytriptaline for the nerve pain. My nerves, muscles and tendons are trying to regrow and reconnect which means my chest is supremely sensitive in negative ways.  The amytriptaline takes the edge off the pain, resulting in my ability to just get on with life while I am healing.

Playing bass is super important to me and so getting back into that was a top priority. After 7 weeks I started practising sitting down with my cheap and light chinese bass. By 9 weeks I could play my heavy Fender Jazz Pro2 while standing up. At 14 weeks I have successfully performed 3 times at Sharkey's Bar and am hoping to perform at Rolleston this coming Sunday.

I was chuffed to discover that Suzi Quatro turned 72 this month and plays the same Fender bass as I do. Such good company.

Along with progress in bass playing you can find me back in my garden  mowing, trimming, weeding, raking. Yes folks, last week I managed to mow both my lawns and do the edges all by myself. It took longer than it used to but I am being cautious, listening to my body and not pushing things, other than mowers, about.

Yesterday I got to exercise my democratic rights. I went to the Alliance Française to vote in France's legislative elections, from New Zealand. I was too busy recovering from surgery to take part in the presidential elections a few months ago so I was determined not to miss out this time. I have dual nationality and was voting for who would represent French expats around the world, I consider it a real privilege of my citizenship to be able to vote in French elections for the rest of my life. NZ does not afford its citizens the same rights. If you are overseas and don't come back regularly for holidays you lose your right to vote after only 3 years. I never had the money to come back here when I lived in France so I lost the right to vote in NZ elections. It should be an automatic right as a citizen but I find NZ's rules on many things quite draconian and harmful.

It was a pleasure to enter the 'French World' again. I had to present my National Identity card, then a kind lady let me look at the candidate pages on her laptop because those two candidates had not been my original choice so I had to choose again. Luckily I can read French fairly quickly. Then I had to take the voting slips for the second round candidates (only 2 left) choose one and place it in the brown envelope and ditch the other in the rubbish bin. One then posts the envelope in the plastic receptacle and you sign your name on the electoral role for French expats. I accidently started to sign as I normally do and had to scribble it out as I had forgotten that France handles all administration in my maiden name and I could no longer remember how to sign that as I haven't had that surname since 1976. So I had to make up a signature. Normally there are two rounds of voting but NZ is so far away from everything that consular mail from  the French overseas department never gets here

in time for us to vote in the first round. I enjoyed speaking a bit of French yesterday. It perked me up for the rest of the day, feeling at ease being bilingual in that special world even if my vote won't count for much. It's still great to have it. So far the abstention rate is a heavy 54%. At least I'm not part of that. Emmanuel Macron's parliamentary majority seems to have disappeared so a lot of his politicians may be looking for jobs.

I was startled to be contacted by a couple of headhunters recently, looking for someone to do communications work at my local council. I should have been ideal, I redid my CV and was given an interview at the HR agency only to have it cancelled suddenly that day. They said they had now resourced it. Hmm, I smell a rat. Contact with that agency wasn't friendly or competent from their end but I was still disappointed. The usual job application nonsense means you never hear if your candidature is received, if anything positive or negative came of all the time you put in to redoing your CV and writing a unique cover letter. Agencies are as bad as dealing with companies directly. There is one more opportunity possible from a different agency which sounds much more friendly and helpful. We'll see, it's for about a year's duration - a big commitment.

I'm keenly aware that my social life revolves around musical activities which I love and I am most grateful to those musicians who have made the effort to prepare songs with me, perform and support me and be endearing friends. Unfortunately that's not enough and I haven't found a significant other since JC in 2011. I spend most of my days pottering at home and now that I am feeling more energetic I decided I should make one more attempt at finding a special companion. Music will always have an important place in my life but opportunities to play are very infrequent or unreliable in nature so I have decided to look for the best sort of company - someone special through online dating. I've been down this road before as long-time readers will know. I am very aware of the pitfalls and disappointments, the scams, the discourtesies but there is no other alternative. I need to remain optimistic and cautious at the same time. If I don't try I can't succeed in challenges. As the cold weather really settles in I'd love to have more indoor social options to add more richness to my life. Here's hoping I find just that.