What should be exciting is now filled with anxiety

Only four days to go until I leave New Zealand for the biggest and most important adventure of my life (other than becoming a mother). Last week I was happy and excited but over the last two days those positive feelings have been smothered by anxiety. Smothered by cinders threatening French airspace, smothered by molten rock from the centre of the earth.

I absolutely must be in Paris on Friday or I lose the opportunity to get my new qualification, I miss my job interviews and the hope of the new life I have always dreamed and worked for. It cannot be rescheduled.

So much detailed planning to create this window of opportunity. So many encouraging moments from friends and colleagues, the little synchronicities that have occurred lately.

It was great to have Stephen's help to set up my laptop, Laura's best wishes today for Mothers Day, chatting with Lindsay. So many contributions to this milestone in my life. I feel as if I'm taking many well-wishers along with me on this journey. Please make it happen for all of us.