Getting my head around it

It's about this time that the enormity of what I am about to do starts sinking in. I searched Google Earth to see what my new address looks like in Rambouillet. What do you think? Will I have one window or two? My space will be only about 30 square metres. I'm used to 100sqm. What can I bring with me?

I will be living more than 18,000 kms from all I've ever known and it won't be just for a couple of months and it's not a holiday. I am NOT having second thoughts in any way but I am thinking about the scope of the changes I need to deal with all at once. The biggest one will be language.

English is like breathing to me. I write well and sometimes it's effortless. Certainly it's easy for me to express myself and be understood. I enjoy listening to others' ideas. All that will be gone, at least for a while. I can barely survive with my current knowledge of French but if I need to live and thrive, well, that's another story. Sure, eventually I will improve but... in the meantime?

I'm thinking about the positives, and there are a great many. I accept that it's essential in the great scheme of things that I do this, in fact I can't imagine a life without this opportunity. But I'm thinking...crikey! What's the process going to be like? Will I manage this emotionally, all alone? OK, yes I will but this is the angst stage and there will be another one after I get to Paris.

Good things take time, great things require courage, I remind myself.

I'm very happy that Laura will soon have a full-time job at Countdown. She will be able to make her own way in the world. I imagine she's having similar thoughts about coping with major change as I am but it's a positive change for us both, even if it's not comfortable.

Tomorrow we'll work in the garage, sorting and chucking and preparing for a garage sale next weekend. It's all part of the process of letting go. I'd rather recycle than chuck and I do need to raise funds for my move but it's rather messy. I've also noticed that the moving companies I have contacted are in no hurry to provide quotes for my extremely modest move of personal items only. Some take weeks to answer an email, some ignore me and some dictate what I will do. None of that impresses me so I'm still looking and weighing up alternatives.

I'm about to hire a property manager and contact an accountant...chipping away at my list of To-DOs. Such alot spinning around in my mind at present and I'm experiencing some unpleasant headaches as a consequence. They say that moving house is up there on the list of the most stressful things to do. Well, I asked for this, it's a wonderful opportunity and I'll tackle it head-on. Note to self: go to bed earlier tonight.