Biting nails

Another week gone by and still no contract through from my future employers in Paris. I keep re-reading old emails to bolster my flagging confidence. I can't imagine they would just drop everything after the effort they've already put in but without a contract I have officially nothing. Human Resource departments do take a while to go through the hoops, I realise that, but it's driving me nuts.

I've already had to invest a few hundred dollars I don't really have in order to pursue a work visa (flights and taxis to and from Wellington, fee for new passport, fee for visa) and I need to have purchased a flight to Paris in order to complete my documentation this end. I'm reluctant to go that far financially without a signed contract. I'm supposed to be at an interview at the embassy in Wellington this month.

I have only two months to dismantle my life here and tie up all loose ends. It's not long. I'm sending feelers out for practical stuff I would need to do once things get the green light. When I imagine I have that green light I feel remarkably calm, at peace and happy, not really stressed by the process ahead. I try not to imagine the opposite-that would be far too dark a place to look into.

Already I feel my energy levels dropping again since I came back. I doubt it is due to jet lag after all these days. I would put it down to being back in a country that's not right for me, a country without good opportunities professionally and personally. It's easier to see it now that I've been away and come back.

Patience. It's hard. Faith. That's hard too. Watching what is happening to my colleagues, their stress, all my passion and hard work at the council going up in smoke. It's distressing. I think if a country has to call one of it's cities a 'supercity' just to sound positive about something creating this much upheaval it must have a very small d***. True greatness doesn't need marketing slogans.

All I can say publicly about this is, for goodness sake Aucklanders, make sure you are enrolled and vote when the time comes in October.

Do NOT leave it to someone else or you will get THEIR choice, not yours. Don't know the candidates? It's your responsibilty to put a little effort in and find out so you can make an informed choice. This is not a normal local government election. This is a whole different ballgame and structure and powerplays. What's involved is your entire daily lifestyle, your future. Don't like something? Use your vote.Please.