Lists, inevitably

Making a list, checking it twice - in the immortal words of that song (apologies to Santa). It has begun. I've already made a list of key items to sell via Trade me and another, longer list for a garage sale; earlier rather than later.

I'm not a big hoarder, after so many relocations in NZ during my lifetime and so many situation changes, but after 55 years you do keep things which spark off memories of experiences. Memory alone is fickle. I've forgotten much of my life, much of the detail. My 'things' help me to remember. What will happen to me when I no longer have my 'things'? When I no longer have the people I have now, in my daily life, to remind me of shared experiences? That's an awful lot to lose.

I've kept receipts of things I've bought nearly 40 years ago. No, not most things, they've been culled long ago, but special things like houses, first motor bike, previous cars. This afternoon I spent time throwing out a lot of household documentation. When you have to consider how to pay for getting stuff to the other end of the earth and then find a place for it there you then find using the rubbish bin a lot easier.

It's going to be as if I'm 18 years old again, just starting out with little in the way of possessions. But this time I'll have added experience, wrinkles and arthritis and lost youth, energy and a lot of future years to rebuild. It's similar but different. And I'll be doing it completely alone in a foreign country with a foreign language and culture. Hmmm, where did I hang my 'balls'? I need to find them.

I've researched 'moving companies' today. I've cleared out a few drawers and files. It's too soon to do the big stuff but I didn't sleep much last night, trying to put a market value, in my head, to each of my belongings. What must it be like for folks who suddenly lose everything from a lifetime, such as in a fire? I at least have a choice about what remains, depending on the quote of course.

Somehow, being materialistic is no longer appropriate in my life. Having 'attachments' to things and places is not part of my immediate future. I was born with the surname FREE. Now I think I'm about to find out exactly what that means.